Well here I am again sitting in the freezing cold computer labs at university killing time. It is the second day of my last semester and I am having mixed emotions about it.
Firstly because this semester consists entirely of intensive subjects, modules and group assignments which means that I will be unable to have a set routine or schedule (which I seem to need to function normally). this is evidenced by the fact that I have time to kill on my second day of university thanks to mixed up timetables!
However on the up-side I have a fair few days off and was even lucky enough to get an extra week off in the middle of semester (gives me a the perfect opportunity to do those group assignments!). Unfortunately this doesn't give me longer holidays it just breaks my semester up into 4 chunks of varying lengths and workloads and come the week AFTER a big assignment is due... oh the irony!
Secondly it is because at the end of this semester I will be a fully qualified Occupational Therapist and quite frankly the thought scares me! You see I have just come back from a year's worth of practical work and have found that, in some cases, my passion and drive to work well was just not there. I thought long and hard about this, even thinking that I may not be suitable for working as an OT. I then came to realise that this is not the case, it was just a matter of low self-esteem (having your every move watched and analysed and assessed didn't help with this), low energy levels, a bit of a negative attitude (seriously though, working full time hours for no pay and then being required to pay for all your travel and accommodation.... it kinda sucks!) and poor supervision, I was never challenged to take up the responsibility for myself as my supervisor always stepped in before I had the chance. Why didn't I say something? Well I suppose that's part of the learning process and if I were to go through the same thing now (please kill me if I do) then I would probably speak up, but at the time the only thing that is going through your mind is the fact that the outcome of the rest of the year is dependent on this person's opinion of you! So now i am sitting here contemplating the future (well at least the near future) with what can only be described as trepidation and a little bit of anxiety! Come November I will be expected to go out into the real world and know what I'm talking about. Suddenly I will have responsibility and I wont have the security blanket of a supervisor of university lecturer that can help and guide the way.
Once again though there is an element of excitement. To a certain degree I'm looking forward to the extra responsibility, to being pushed beyond my limits and being forced to step out of m comfort zone, which for the past 3.5 years has been within the grounds of the university. The opportunities and the initiative will be there for the taking and I am looking forward to seeing what I am made of! Of course the full-time pay will be nice too!
Finally I am a little bit excited about the end of this year as I have come to a little bit of a realisation... out of the girls in my family, that is my sisters and my cousins here in Townsville, I will be the first to finish my university degree before getting married! So, despite all my claims that university was only a time filler until I found a husband I am excited to finish in 12 weeks and embark on a mission that no Schwartz woman (in Australia) has been on before.... full time work as a single woman! I feel great!
