So I have recently been spending too much of my time trawling the internet for sites on which to waste my time, in my search I have found a few that tickle the funny bone and keep me amused and even informed for quite some time. However I have also come across the 2 most depressing sites I have ever seen. If you are familiar with the new craze of creating "Twitter-like" sites where the average everyday person comments on things they have seen or heard throughout the day and this is then posted for all the world to see, then you may have already discovered them, so without further ado I shall begin my cyber-social commentary.
Both sites, I believe were created with all the best intents and purposes, but to me they show everything that is totally wrong in society.
Love Gives Me Hope is a place where people comment on things that have happened to them or things that they have seen that is a display of love and thus gives them hope, pretty self explanatory. Some posts are actually quite sweet, with beautiful stories of old couple, people loving despite judgement, romantic proposals and high school sweethearts getting married. Those I love reading, however there is a different kind of post, one that seems to be taking over the site and they disturb me just a little bit. Here is an example:
I have really low self esteem, and have struggled with depression for 3 years. When I told my boyfriend about my issues, he told me that he would remind me that I'm beautiful everyday. It's been 6 months, and he has stuck to that promise.
Ok so the post itself isn't that bad on its own, but its not the only one there, there are countless posts about girls feeling the need for their boyfriends or best friends telling them that they are beautiful and that they love them. My problem isn't with the boyfriends and best friends saying things like "You're beautiful" and "I love you" everyday, that's fantastic, more people should make a conscious effort to remind others of their love. My concern is that these girls often NEED this reminder EVERYDAY in order to find a sense of worth in their life, without this constant reminder they have nothing, their self esteem is deflated, they find themselves unattractive and unlovable, and what is this opinion of themselves based on?? On their charms, on their intelligence, on their wit and sense of humour?? NO to them their self worth is based entirely on whether they are pretty or beautiful, based entirely on their outward appearance!
This view is even further expressed on the Six Billion Secrets (SBS... (: ...) site. On this site people spill secrets that they aren't brave enough to tell to those closest to them or that they feel are too horrible and therefore no one else should bear the weight of them. It is seriously depressing stuff, there are so many horrible stories of people who have been mistreated, rejected and hurt in so many awful ways. Then there are the shocking amount of people who have secretly been battling with depression who have tried or want to try to commit suicide. It scares me that there are so many people who need help and love, but do not feel that they are able to ask for it. Then there are the cries for help that could so easily be prevented, cries of help that could possibly be coming from the same girls such as the one in the post above. For example:
I cut and dyed my hair.
I worked out every day for 2 months. I waxed my eye brows. I got a push up bra. I got new make up. I look so much better than I used to.
But I'm still not good enough for you to look twice at.
You're killing me without even knowing it
It saddens me every time I read this, she talks about not being good enough for someone, talks about changing her physical appearance in order to become good enough. I wish I could tell her that if a person will only deem them to be 'good enough' after they don't even look like themselves any more then that person is not good enough for her to waste her time on!! When did our value become so intrinsically linked with how we look that girls are literally killing themselves to try and find that value in some else's shallow opinion. Another girl on SBS states it so clearly:
I'm beautiful and popular?
4 years of eating disorders.
Hundreds of dollars on hair dye.
Thousands of dollars on brand name clothes.
Many nights drunk and high.
Around 23 sexual partners.
All before I turned 17.
Why is that what is beautiful and popular in today's society?
I know that this is not a new issue but I believe that it is getting worse, children as young as 8 and 10 feel like the NEED to wear make up, padded bras and flesh baring clothing in order to find love and acceptance!! Where are the parents and the teachers? Where is the voice of reason in the madness, why is no one telling these poor broken girls that our appearance means nothing, that beauty will fade and go away!?
Now I can't say that I am immune to this culture either, there is hardly a day that I leave the house without quickly applying some make-up and coordinating an outfit, I also love the feeling of being told that I am beautiful, but I had a family and parents who loved me enough to not feed that, they loved me enough to teach me the the outside appearance, the make-up the clothes, they mean nothing. They never gave up on teaching me how to be a person with qualities that matter, how to not be selfish, how to be kind, how to love others genuinely, how to be compassionate and generous. They aren't finished yet, they are still teaching me everyday through being these people themselves.
Most importantly though, they taught me to never rely on the opinions of others to find my self worth. They taught me about the never ending and unconditional love of God. They taught me that I am His child and His creation, the He shaped me and formed me to be the person I am today and that when I question and whine and moan about how I look (or even how others look for that matter), that I am questioning, tearing down and criticizing the work of the Almighty Father!
I so want these girls to know that, I want them to know that above all, God formed them and God loves them and His opinion and the value that He has placed on your life is the ONLY thing that matters!!
So if you have ever been tempted to find your value in what society deems to be 'good enough' just remember that there is a God and creator who lovingly formed you to be exactly how you are today and that His love will sustain you through anything and that God doesn't EVER make mistakes!
